Shyness refers to anxiety Essay Example for Free

Shyness refers to anxiety Essay I believe millions of people are suffering from shyness. â€Å"Shyness refers to anxiety and excessive caution in interpersonal relationship† (Corey 2009). We have learnt that shyness is actually social anxiety in which the individual tries to avoid eye contact with people, making it difficult to communicate effectively. I am an outgoing person when interacting with my family or close friends, however, when it comes to someone I don’t really know, I am very shy. However, the anxiety and shyness disappears little by little after I have gotten along with such person, I also have a fear of public speaking especially if I am in the center of attention. I consider myself as being too shy, so I am always willing to get over my shyness and trying to build confidence. Since I am a student, I have a lot of opportunities to interact with other people. I put myself in situations where I forced to make contact with people, like speech class and engaging in social activities, even though I find doing these stressful and uncomfortable. However, these didn’t work well and my shyness actually gets worse. After all attempts to get over my shyness fails, I have no choice than to live with it. However, Prof. Occhiato mentioned in class that shyness is the same as selfishness, I had to face this trait of mine again since I concur with what the professor said Before getting into the theme of the book I chose, I would like to talk on how my shyness/ fear of public speaking developed. When I was in elementary school in Switzerland, I was prudent but energetic and outgoing person. During lectures, I usually ask question without thinking of embarrassment that might result from my inquisitive character. Even though I was only seven or eight years old, I knew that I need to perform and produce good results. I received my teacher’s and peer’s praise for my good work and I was encouraged to keep the flag flying. I became industrious and tried to accomplish my task successfully, I also wanted to gain recognition for creating new things. In general, children’s efforts to master their school work help them to grow and form a positive self-concept a sense of who they really are. However, after I moved to Asia, I changed a lot, although in negative ways. In Korea, it is considered rude for a student to ask questions during class, such act is regarded as interruption to the flow of the lesson, whereas, in Swiss classrooms children are encouraged to ask questions. It is all about culture so that moving to a new school abroad means I have adjusting to the new culture. However, since I am used to taking classes either in the United States or in Europe, I felt uncomfortable with being in this environment. Older children may find it hard to adapt, both to a new culture and a new language, but since I was still ten years old, I settled in quickly. Once I get used to being in Korean culture, I started to feel embarrassed asking questions in the class, but I also felt a sense of shame that I am different. This feeling became worse after moving to Japan. Even though I have lived in abroad for most of my life, I consider myself as a very Japanese since my parents taught me a lot of things about Japanese culture, morals, injunctions and many other things. One day, my teacher asked me the meaning of famous Japanese proverb and I was floored by that question. She said â€Å"This question is actually quite easy and a kind of common sense. † And she pointed at me and said â€Å"However, even you are not able to answer the question; this is understandable to me since you are from the different culture. † My face was flushed with shame that I couldn’t answer the easiest and a kind of common sense question. At that moment, I felt I had been stupid all the while and that I am and failure in everything. However, anytime I think of it now, I didn’t have to be panic any longer since I know I wasn’t old enough to think logically and subjectively during those periods. As a result of the embracement that I experienced in my childhood, those negative feelings are firmly planted in my mind. This is the reason why I develop extreme shyness/ fear of public speaking. Well, I would like to go into the main theme which is about the book I chose. The author, Leil Lowndes was able to produce a magnificent book that can counter shyness and workout confidence among people. The book â€Å"Goodbye to Shy: 85 Shy Busters†, helps readers to face everyday lives with full confidence and brighter perspectives. It determines the source of shyness, the effects of being shy and introduces possible remedies to achieve a shy free life. Each chapter focuses on a particular step that shy individual can use. Then at the end of each chapter, it is summarize the discussion in a little gray box called a `Shy Buster. ` The first part of the book tackles proper way of dealing with people nowadays even in the presence of shyness in one’s personality. The goal of attaining a shy free life is never an easy task; it will take time to gain a complete confidence. The other day, I told people that I am shy, however, they didn’t even believe me. †Oh I don’t think you are, since you are talking to me. † They don’t know how much I am suffering inside. Since then, I have been thinking it is not a proper idea telling people that I am shy. Surprisingly, the author recommends telling other people that you are shy (Lowndes 3). In most situations, shy people try to hide their condition to avoid being humiliated. People will only laugh at an individual whoadmitted that he/she is shy and may say things like â€Å"Oh, not you! You’ve got to be kidding† (Lowndes 3). According to the book, shy people are classified to three different types: born shy, situational shy and traumatic experience shy. The first type of shy people is a natural shy from birth. The sensitivity of born shy people is extremely high and they try to avoid socialization as much as possible. The second type of shy is usually affected by certain events that expose them to others. One great example of situational shyness is during class discussions. Lastly, traumatic experiences make someone shy because of too much humiliation or failure. This can also be viewed as people who are usually well taken care of right from their childhood days. It produces traumatic shyness because they will keep on depending and talking to close family members rather than exposing themselves to people that they barely know. In my case, my shyness comes under either the second or the third one. Once a person is already aware of the type of shyness he/she possess, it is the time for him/her to get out of the situation (Lowndes 7). There are discussions made in the book about battling with blushing, sweating and other signs of shyness (Lowndes 10). The author also encourages shy people to talk about their condition (Lowndes 12). This will make them face the tough situation that they are and step by step settle the problem with their personality (Lowndes 15). The book is indeed helpful for shy people because they will be aware of the things that they need to do to counter shyness. It is one way of showing readers how life will be more meaningful with the right confidence and sociable personality. Another good part of the book is the second chapter which discusses different point of views of people about the shy person. Either the shy person says that he/she is shy or not, other people can notice it even without even telling them (Lowndes 21). The author also based her findings on studies that prove how shy people view themselves worse than what they really are. The â€Å"mud colored glasses† hinders people from growing up and showing off their proud personality (Lowndes 25). Shy readers will find themselves whispering â€Å"Yes that’s me! † upon encountering several discussions in the book when the discussions are really similar to their life experiences. This is a good way of making people aware of their weaknesses so that they can work it out and transform it into strengths. Reading the book serves as a self discovery for shy people. after they have already gathered pertinent information about their condition, the author then lead them to more juicy chapters that will make them finish with confidence. As mentioned before, there are shy busters’ techniques identified by the author which can be easily applied to the lives of shy people. There is a three-step game plan given by the author, so that shy people will unhook themselves from the terrible condition (Lowndes 43). It includes chapters about hooking hide and seek, shaving off the years of suffering from shyness and how to warm up one’s wacky confidence (Lowndes 45- 58). For beginners, there are shy buster techniques that will improve shyness little by little. From simple eye to eye contact to giving out a perfect smile and eliminating snob mannerism were discussed in the chapter titled† The seven best beginner’s shy busters† (Lowndes 61). Rare shy busters were also given by the author that will allow shy people contemplate on things that made them shy. It will also encourage them that the only people who can help them from recovering are their own selves. Big time sufferers were also tackled in the book, but eventually there is still a hope for them to recover. Crowd behaviors were also cited in the book and how shyness is available on almost every place like parties and other places. Shy people often treat crowded people as hell but the book will make them change this kind of orientation. The book is great for both the shy and people that are not shy, the author outlines many aspects of personal relations that will be beneficial to everyone. In a humorous way, she sites real-life examples (many of her own) that point out where a shy person may have shortcomings. She then explains why they may behave the way they do and offers alternatives to overcome the shy behavior. Also, it manifests the author’s willingness to help out and change the lifestyle of shy people. Fearless conversation will be made available for shy people after reading this book. Family and sexual relationship problem which are affected by shyness will also be resolved through several shy busters given in the book. Getting to know one’s self is the best way to get out of a shy life. Loving yourself is the main message of this book because it assures shy people that life is a priceless gift especially for those who extends themselves to others. Again, each shy buster introduced by the author allows shy people to practice and apply it in their lives. Every accomplished shy buster technique leads them closer to graduation day. By the end of the book, shy people will find themselves successful and free from painful shyness experiences. It will give shy people the chance to look attractive and feel more comfortable whenever other people are around them. In conclusion, this is an excellent step by step guide to getting over our shyness. I found many of the author’s suggestions and words very helpful. Honestly, I initially resist buying this book because the cover is so local. It looks like some 1980s book that I usually find in my mothers closet. But then, I bought it anyway. I am glad I did. It is quite funny and entertaining to read. As I read the book, it eases away from its clinical insights and moves more towards the practical. And the practical offers tips that I think would help most people regardless of how shy they are. (Chances are good that most people have some shyness in them based on how the author defines `shyness. ) The exercises help to give me some confidence and it really helps me realize that people are not as critical as we think they are. Besides, she opened my eyes to a lot of things. For example, I’ve heard before that people considered me to an arrogant person for avoiding them, and I was just shy. I had no idea that they did not understand it. I always thought that there is no hope for my shyness. Reading this book doesn’t mean I can get over my shyness completely. I know I have to put theories into practice. But at least, this book gives me some hope. I want to thank Prof. Occhiato for mentioning that â€Å"shyness = selfishness. † It could be a life changing book that will reshape and reconstruct the lives of many shy people.

How does the writer use language to create suspense in The Red Room :: English Literature

How does the writer use language to create suspense in The Red Room The Red Room is about a man who is staying at an old house with a haunted room, which he is going to spend the night in. He is unwilling to listen to the warnings of the three elderly occupants of the house who are sure that the room is haunted. The story starts with the man speaking and being very confident about staying in the room and how only a tangible ghost will frighten him he is saying that nothing can hurt him unless it is solid or touchable which is not what ghosts are like. So he is also saying that ghosts do not exist. He tries to back up this by saying that he has â€Å" lived for eight and twenty years and never seen a ghost† however the old woman says â€Å" that he has never stayed in a house like this†. This creates more suspense because the reader want to know what the house is like and why it is haunted and what the inhabitants have experienced to support their beliefs in a paranormal housemate. To make the story more mysterious none of the characters is named. The three old people are described, as though they are unhealthy and decaying so they look like ghosts in comparison to the narrator. The narrator then wants to go to the room, so he asks the elderly people if they would guide him there but they just ignore him. He sounds very authoritative and superior but also very arrogant and the old people do not answer him so he repeats the request a little louder and they just tell him where he can find the candle and say he must go alone. Then the old woman says â€Å"this night of all nights† which again creates more tension because what did happen on this night? They give him directions to the room and he leaves them and heads for the room but just before he leave the old man says â€Å"its of your choosing† the old man is saying that when the narrator finds what ever is in the room don’t come to them saying we was pushed you into it†. The writer goes on to set the scene for the journey to the room. Portraying it as a chilly echoing passage, which sounds very threatening and menacing. He talks about the three old pensioners that occupy the castle coming from an age where there was no science and the existence of omens and witches were creditable. As he goes down

Geneogram

THE COMMON PATTERNS THAT I SAW ON MY GENEOGRAM AND HOW IT AFFECT WHO I AM TODAY Upon making and completing my Geneogram, the first thing that I got to realize is that I am really lucky with my family. We might not have a lot of professionals just like other families but no one in our family, whether mother or father side has any mental issues or any addictions to anything. Also, there are no bitter misunderstanding within our family that might have resulted to any conflicts.Another common pattern that I saw is the common profession in our family. It is either engineering or nursing. This might explain as to why I chose engineering as a profession. It is visible that It is the common profession being practiced in our family. Another significant pattern that is visible is the number of children each of my Tito/Tita have. No one from any of my Tito/Tita has a number of children greater than three. This might explain why my mother and father only had two children of their own.Also, anoth er pattern that is visible is the age in which my cousins had children. My geneogram results shows that no one from my cousins became a parent before the reach 25. This might also in a way explain as to why I still don’t have children of my own today. THINGS TO HEAL / CHANGE IN MY GENEOGRAM PATTERNS Even though my geneogram is quite a normal, good geneogram of a normal family, there is one area of improvement that I saw. There might be little areas to heal or I wanted to change.That area is that we do not have a pattern our family that has a leadership or entrepreneurial background. Most of my family’s pattern shows that most of us became professionals. That might not be a bad thing for others, but it might be for me because I wanted to have my own business someday and if I were to look at my family’s geneogram there is no significant pattern that shows me that there is a leadership or entrepreneurial pattern. So I cannot get the said skill anywhere within my fa mily.But to clear things up, I love my family, I don’t want to change anything and I don’t want to give it up for anything in the world but just of academics sake, if I were to choose an area for improvement, I think that will be it. HOW CAN MY ANSWERS ABOVE HELP ME BECOME A LEADER IN MY WORKPLACE? Now that I have seen that what are the patterns and areas of improvement from my geneogram, more specifically the family members that does not have leadership skills. This might explain why I also lack leadership qualities in my office.I was offered on many occasions, from my previous and present work, to have an opportunity to be promoted and handle people. But I turn down those opportunities because deep in my heart I think that I am afraid to take the lead because I don’t have the said background from my family and does not feel comfortable leading people. And upon doing this geneogram, I got to realize that yeah, I am afraid to lead people because no one in my fam ily taught me that skill. And I think for me is the greatest area of improvement for myself and my career.

Deforestation Is An Industry Practice Of Mass Essay

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The effects it has on animals especially when looking at the amazon is astonishing, these trees provide shelter for 50-90% percent of animals, and nearly half are becom ing extinct. Therefore, we need to consider the many detrimental factors that come along with deforestation (Humanities 9, 2008). Dessie and Bredemeier state that since water can vary among different countries there are no universal standards or parameters, however, some countries have individually come up with their own guidelines to follow, this is because most water can be affected by the type of soil that surrounds it as well as the different nutrients thatShow MoreRelatedLand of the Free, Unless You Are a Tree772 Words   |  3 Pagesa man can cater to the market and make a fortune. None such example is better than the logging industry. 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